Life was simple. Happy and free, no financial worries, and
my health and body were in shape. My dreams and goals were in mind, and plans
for my future were in mind for success. I had friends who were drama free, my
love life was of no existence and I had no problem with that, my family was
still in contact and we all got along. Drinking and drugs were not involved in
my social gatherings.
As I grew, drinking started to take toll, like any normal
teenager I would drink occasionally behind my mother’s back. I would have fun
and still maintain a positive attitude while I was under the influence. My
drinking was in no way getting in the way of my schooling, or life perspective.
I was such a positive happy outgoing girl.
As time passed, my drinking went from occasionally to
frequently. Life started getting rough, I was losing friends, my family had
broken apart and I became very ill. In and out of the hospital at least once a
month, studies and test and mis diagnosis were very frustrating. At last I was
diagnosed with petit mal epilepsy. My attitude was negative every day; I became
a very angry person towards the ones close to me. I developed depression to the
point where I would cry every night. I was alone. I turned to drinking heavily.
At the time I thought by doing so, I could escape from reality, but
realistically it was making me worse. It was at the point where my friends and
family were getting worried about me. I would convince myself that I didn’t
have a problem, and that it was just a phase because I was so young. Every time
I would drink, I would become very sensitive thinking about all the bad and
would cry, I would look for fights, even with my friends, I would hurt myself
mentally and physically, I was always getting kicked out of bars and parties,
and I always risked mine and others lives by drinking and driving.( I learned
that the hard way by receiving a DUI) drinking was the only thing I would look
forward to, I’ve made so many bad choices while doing so. Drugs started taking
over also, I blame myself for my illness, and I feel the drugs and alcohol
caused my epilepsy.
With one of the worst nights happening in all of my
existence with drinking, I never felt so much regret as I did the next day, the
night was a blur.as always I blacked out with no memory of what had happened
the night before. Hearing the stories and the horrible things I had done was
very embarrassing, my body was bruised and bloody and I had a knot on my head
the size of an orange. The only way my friends would accept my apology is if I
stopped drinking. With a lot of thought I realized I was a person who could not
drink. Nothing positive would ever come out of it. A week of suffering without
it was tough. Another week would pass, and then months would pass. It’s now
been over three months, and the thought of drinking disgusts me. I am the
happiest I have even been, my thoughts are clear, my health has been under
control, my anger is under control, and I can now maintain a positive attitude.
I’ve dropped a lot of negative people out of my life,
which I feel is for the best. Attending school for the first time in three
years makes me feel like I have a purpose in life. I’ve built a very close
relationship with my mother (who is very proud of me),and I can still have fun.
This is one of the greatest accomplishments of my life so far. This is not just
a break; I do not plan on drinking ever again. This great success is one of the
first steps to my new life.
Things that I can compare to would be: Listening to others while they speak, money is not going to be the one thing that makes me happy, in fact it may be at the bottom, I don't buy into materialism, I always find ways to get involved if it means helping someone or something in a way, and I don't necessarily know how to stress on the love in and around my life...but its there!
Now one thing i could work on that Morrie stresses about is taking advantage of life, as in keeping myself busy and devoting myself to creating something that gives me a purpose in life. That part reflected a lot on me, I'm going to try and think about Morrie's advice every day to influence me to try new things, stay busy, and create my purpose!
